What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Sure no problem officer.

{RING} {RING}

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Why in my 60s do I have a strong desire to suck cock and swallow?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Hi, I’m Jo. My best friend died 2 years ago today. My husband died 6 months later. So, I’m a depressed mess (we were married 28 years) and can’t shake it. Even my Brother is worried. Some days I don’t do anything, and avoid men cause I don’t want to date. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

After a few moments he returns.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Yes sir it is.

Is there a possibility that we are living in a simulation and that there is a concept of rebirth?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.